Monthly Archives: September 2011

7 Strips of Bacon: Homeschooled Graduation Edition!

Hey guys! I haven’t done one of these in a while, so I’m going to do one. Like, now!

1. Graduation!

Yes! Graduation is in less than NINE MONTHS! June 9th is the big day. I’m pumped!

2. Graduation Song!

So, if you’re a homeschooler, then at your Graduation you play a slideshow of your life. This is one of the highlights of a homeschoolers career. All your life, you will hear a really good song, and think to yourself Hmmm. That’d be a really great song for my graduation slideshow! It’s really important that you pick the perfect song. You’ll remember it for the rest of your life.

3. Post-Graduation Depression!

After your Graduation, you’ll hear a song, and tell yourself, “Man, if that song was out before I graduated, it totally would’ve been my song to play during my slideshow!” Then, you’ll go into depression because you’ll now think back on your Graduation thinking about the great slideshow that could’ve been.

4. Graduation Party!

After you walk down the aisle, listen to somebody preach, watch the Slideshows, have your parents say something about you i.e. “We’re proud of you.” “You’ll do great things.” (Note: Tears from at least one parent is required. Bonus points if both parents do), the Graduates sing a song *shivers*, you throw your hat’s, turn your tassels (or shake them, if you’re into that), it’s finally time for…THE AFTER PARTY!

It sucks.

It’s pretty much filled with people telling you Congratulations, interrupting you while you’re trying to talk to your friends to do so, and playing Super Smash Bros. on the giant projecter screen. Which, imo, is the best part.

5. Graduates Song!

The Graduates all come up and sing a song. Yeah, I’ll just let you figure out how it usually turns out.

6. Senior Flower…?

One thing that is missing, is the Senior Flower. I mean, SERIOUSLY?! THAT’S THE BEST PART! It’s unacceptable, really. If we did have a senior flower, it would be the Rose. Why? Every Rose has its thorns. The thorns would be the other homeschooler’s parents who want their kids to be the stars of the show, while the kids really don’t care. Kinda like 4-H, but with homeschooled moms. So it’s worse.

7. 1 Year

After all is said and done, you go hang out with your friends after Graduation, because you kept on being interrupted by people congratulating you, you get home before 11, but only because your mom told you to, or else you were grounded, you still have to wait a year before going to college. You see, a majority of homeschoolers graduate when they’re 17 (like I will be when June 9th rolls around), and so they aren’t able to go to college at that time. So, you get a job, still have to be home by 11, and ask permission before you go outside, maybe try to write a book, and talk to your Public Schooled friends who are telling you how awesome college is.

There’s also a 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and 1 chance that you can get a boy/girlfriend.

After all that, I still can’t wait to finally be done with High School! Hurry up June 9th! I CAN’T WAIT FOREVER!