Monthly Archives: December 2010

Jack Bauer

I would first off like to say that this post doesn’t contain spoilers for “24”

How awesome is Jack Bauer? I’m pretty sure that he eats a full meal of bacon at the end of every hour so he can be super freakin’ awesome.  But wait, how come you never see Jack Bauer eat in “24”? Because, he’s Jack Bauer. You also never see him use the bathroom. But all the dudes that have peed their pants while Jack Bauer was torturing them makes up for it.

Every time Jack Bauer tortures somebody, a baby is born. Every time Jack Bauer crys, little kids in Africa get water for weeks. They drink his tears and THATS why they help him out in 24: Redemption. They owed him. Jack Bauer never owes you. Unless, your name is Chloe O’Brien.

Only this guy can make Jack Bauer cry.

Every time Jack Bauer gets mad, a little piece of everybody in the world dies. Just to let you guys know, we’re all dead.
Jack Bauer kicks Chuck Norris’ butt.
If you haven’t experienced 24, do it. Right now. Before Jack Bauer stabs you. With a pen.


7 Strips of Bacon

Life is good. Bacon is Good. Therefore, whenever I talk about my life I compare it to Bacon. Which is awesome. Here is my 7 strips of Bacon, or 7 strips of awesome, or 7 things in my life that I did today or in the past few days, but that is too long. Just like that last sentence.

1. I made a blog. Bet you couldn’t figure that one out.

2. I did not eat Bacon. 😦 Therefore, today has been less awesome.

3. I am a hard working man who works out and likes to take long walks on the beach, and I’m a great cook.

4. That last strip was a lie.

5. If a strip of Bacon is a lie does that mean it doesn’t exist? If so, should this be called 6 strips of Bacon?

6. I am homeschooled. Can you tell?

7. Don’t drink that Racist Coffee

BANG! There’s your 7 strips of Bacon.